Negative
by Ars Silentium
Summary: If negativity was represented by a rainbow, Vanitas had all the colors. 15 themes. 15 quotes. 7500 words that matter.
1. Anxiety

**Note:** Negative goes with Positive

I finally got around to doing this.  
>I mean, really, how long have I been postponing this?<br>It's just so hard to write Vanitas.  
>I guess I got...scared?<br>I'unno.

If you, by some reason, want to do this, look at my profile for the complete list.

**Time:** A few days after Vanitas' creation.  
><strong>Place:<strong> Keyblade Graveyard, Badlands

**Disclaimer: **Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix, Disney.

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><p><strong>Anxiety<strong>

"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength" - Charles H. Spurgeon

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><p>Vanitas stared down at his feet, dangling from a cliff in Keyblade Graveyard. His hands were shaky and they were awfully not as careful as he would have liked. He dropped a few this and thats, earning mocking smirks from Xehanort's only goon (he fell under 'apprentice' category, not goon), Braig.<p>

What made his hands so fidgety? What made him feel queasy?

"Pull yourself together, Vanitas," Xehanort commanded harshly, yet calmly. Vanitas turned to see Xehanort, hands behind his back like they always seemed to be. Vanitas only nodded and stood from where he sat, straightening himself. Vanitas knew they were _just_ going to train, so why did he always have to have this uneasy feeling making him stumble and careless?

"You're anxious, boy. Nervous. Are you intimidated?" Xehanort smirked. So that's what it was.

"I guess..." Vanitas mumbled, summoning his Keyblade, Void Gear. "Just train me."

Xehanort scoffed, shaking his head. "Anxiety, Vanitas, is a small hurdle that you must overcome to be able to use your strength; nervousness causes distraction; distraught. You become an easy target, so therefore, I am only wasting my time with you if I trained someone unbearably anxious. Rest your heart, and maybe, tomorrow you won't be so feeble and weak. We have time, but not enough for you to completely rid yourself of teenage emotions. When you've accomplished that... _That's_ when we train. I cannot afford to waste my time training you when your head has a crack and your training will simply slip through that crack without you knowing."

"Maybe," Vanitas began, "my anxiousness would be erased if _you_ trained me better! I don't know if what I'm going to do is going to please you or not, and unless I know, I'm going to _keep_ being anxious!" Vanitas took a moment, "I don't know just what to do, why I'm here, or why I even exist, and you expect me not to be anxious? Me being anxious is the least I can feel right now."

Xehanort took a moment to consider this, almost proving just how much he didn't seem to have a heart. Like what Vanitas felt was utterly trivial; and it probably was.

"Then we have ground rules. One, do _not_ disobey me. Two, do not make any kind of contact with any of the apprentices of Master Eraqus _or_ Master Eraqus himself unless I personally approve of it. Three, do not spread Unversed to unnecessary places. Four, do not try to speed things up; this plan has its own pace. And finally, five, keep up with Ventus or make Ventus keep up with you."

Vanitas knew what Xehanort was talking about, but somehow, he felt it wasn't something he wanted to know. He felt, deep down, that the important thing is to know his purpose; but then, if the Master said nothing on it, then maybe it wasn't important after all; that maybe, what he felt was completely trivial.


	2. Hate

**Note:** Negative is still with Positive.

I'm starting to think Negative is on Saturday, Positive on Wednesday.  
>Meh... I'll think. It seems better that way.<br>I just happen to find my own themes hard. Oh dear.

You know what's funny?  
>I was listening to Nyan Cat while doing this!<br>Amazing.

By the way...I'm basing off memory again.  
>Sorry if it's off.<p>

**Time:** When Vanitas meets Aqua...after, actually.

**Place: **Neverland.

**Disclaimer:** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix, Disney

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><p><strong>Hate<strong>

"We hate losing." -Bill Moss

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><p>Vanitas was the first of the two to get up. He was seething with rage. Lose? That was not even on his vocabulary.<p>

He stared at Aqua through his helmet, glaring at full power. He was supposed to eliminate her; he gave it his all... What the _hell_ happened? He gritted his teeth and clenched and unclenched his fists, in hopes that it would help the hate cool down. If he hated too much, too powerful Unversed would slip away from his control. His Master didn't like that. He needed something to destroy...

Vanitas saw the pathetic wooden mockery of Terra's Keyblade; snapped in two. Snapped in two? That wasn't right... It needed to be burnt. And so, he burnt it. He cast a powerful Firaga spell that didn't even have time to grow. The moment the fire met the wood, it burst into flames and totally consumed the wooden Keyblade, ending its pathetic existence, not that it ever really had a life to begin with. He turned back to Aqua, his rage settling just a bit. He could kill her now. He could kill her now and leave the _kiddies_ to find her blood everywhere. Maybe, he'd even hang her guts around the place.

No. No, Vanitas. Don't waste your effort. It's sad to murder someone in their sleep. Not on the murdered person's part. _His_ part. It was a sign that he was too weak to even beat her at his own game. Destruction was his name; chaos was his existence. If he couldn't beat her in _fighting_, an art of destruction, why leave his dignity and kill her in her sleep? It would be more pleasurable to see her face when she is beaten. The horror struck face of defeat, then, maybe, she would hear nothing else but her own scream as—

The kiddies were coming. Vanitas sighed, exasperated, especially noting the obese kid's huffing. He was disgusted by the amount he ate; did he not know what a cruel world this was? That he needed to cut down to _survive_? Kids were idiots.

Vanitas willed a Dark Corridor to appear in front of him. Slowly, he walked to the Corridor, basking in the darkness. He didn't know where the other end was taking him, but it was definitely away from that place, now forever haunting him with his defeat. Especially her; Aqua. The too-good Keyblade Master was too bright; she was too filled with light. It sickened Vanitas to no end. He needed to stay in the darkness.

But then, in this fight, he _did _notice something peculiar. As a being of darkness, he could see the imperfections far clearer than anyone else; the imperfections of the heart. Aqua's heart, like velvet that seemed ripped, felt...'fuzzy'. Like her heart was, much like Ventus, forcefully stripped of darkness, but she never suffered what Ventus did. It was something most idle, but also most peculiar.

He smiled under his fiberglass mask. This wasn't much of a _total_ loss...


	3. Despair

**Note:** Shoukyoku to sekkyokuteki are still strong.

Yes, yes, 'another's' is grammatically wrong.  
>Don't blame me, -raises hands in defense-, I'm just copy-pasting.<p>

**Time:** After the three meet up.**  
>Place:<strong> Radiant Garden, Outer Gardens.

**Disclaimer:** Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix, Disney.

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><p><strong>Despair<strong>

"I can endure my own despair but not another's hope." -William Walsh

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><p>Vanitas was so wrapped up in all these negative emotions, he wouldn't really mind telling a random person <em>straight<em> that he wanted to cry.

You couldn't really blame the guy; every time he saw himself in the mirror, in the water...his reflection in general; he saw the one person who took everything away from him. Vanitas wanted to be happy, too, but 'happiness' didn't seem to be negative, so Ventus took that away. The only times Vanitas did laugh was because he was close to someone linked to Ventus some way or the boy himself. As he stared at the fountain in Radiant Garden after the three had left to go about their separate ways again, helmet off, he couldn't help but slap the surface of the water in anger. But it was more from despair.

This was a norm to him by now; so many years of despair every time he saw his own face which wasn't his face after all. He had a name, but even his name was...well, empty. He was empty despite all the darkness boiling inside of him, all the negativity simply spewing from every pore... He was empty. He lived up to his name, but there wasn't much to live up to.

While his despair was _bearable_ now, Ventus' hope wasn't. He could understand why Ventus was so hopeful during training, but with everything so far; Aqua wanting him to go home because he was too much of a kid than he was a man, Terra completely distancing himself from the other two despite Ventus' clinging; he was still bright with hope. He could not see himself even try to _fathom_ the mere idea of hope. Hope was nothing. Hope was bitter. Hope was a sign of desperation. Vanitas was _never_ desperate. He went by facts (something he admits his Master taught him), not by possibilities and chances.

Vanitas tried counting all the things Ventus stole from him. While it was only one thing, it was still a lot. Ventus, no matter how sweet he was, couldn't erase his sin; the sin Vanitas saw. Ventus took away Vanitas' life away from him. His future and his past. His present was something bitter, something he imagined Ventus spitting and stepping on in disgust.

Was it too much to ask for a simple, permanent _face_? He just wanted his own identity for once; his own life to look forward to, his own past to look back to. It was a sad existence Vanitas couldn't bear, but he was forced to; he was shoved into this mess not by will. He wanted to simply be the darkness that Ventus would one day embrace. But no; he wasn't good enough to be pitied.

Vanitas decided to wash his face. He needed to get his mind away from all these Ventus-stealing thoughts and such. And maybe, somewhere deep inside of him, maybe the Ventus side, he hoped a little that his face would change to show someone else.


End file.
